To Think or to Do, or Perhaps Neither in My Case

I am a thinker and doer both in the worst of times for each. Today I hit a car, because I did do and did not think; I sent an angry email, because I did not think; and today, I missed a treasured opportunity to catch up with an old friend, because I thought of all the complications of the meeting, rather than taking the minuscule risk to do, and to speak to the friend.

Not only are thinking and doing unrelated, but I seem to suffer dismally from a disconnection of the two in some region of my brain. They say I am "book-smart" and deprived of common sense, brutally so, and the statement could hardly be more accurate.

Today, I thought excessively, and yet despite all my cluttering thinking, I did and did wrong. In foods class, I misunderstood directions, and while berating myself in my mind for not questioning my teacher as to the procedure, I began to think so hard that I decided to do would be preferable. I was wrong. The result was my giving the wrong amount of egg to another group baking muffins, causing their product to be like a leather shoe. In a sense, my fruitlessly intense thinking, in complete disconnect with my mindless doing, sabotaged them.

I am a doer when I should not be, and a thinker when I should not be, all at the same time. I had a part-time job once at a cut-throat pizza shop. My initial reaction to a peeved customer would be to think: what should I do? Should I tell my boss? Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should just hang up. Maybe I should just run away... and through that whirlpool of thoughts would emerge a deed that was altogether stupid. I would tell the customer to please, wait a moment, and I would hand them some other customer's pizza. Oops.

Alas, I am a thinker and doer in the worst senses of the words. My memory with words and names is infallible; my fingers are dexterous; my test performance exceptional at times. But what I lack is that impossibly crucial, even lucrative, connection between my thoughts and my actions, leading me to oftentimes look like an utter bozo.